Life Coach Lakeway

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.

If you ever feel like you are trying too hard, you probably are! Who said that effort and striving are the keys to success? I think the Beatles were on to something in their classic song when they advised that we simply “Let It Be.” Verse 47 of the Tao Te Ching suggests that effort and striving, along with the struggling, worrying, stressing, fretting and agonizing that we can’t seem to resist, are behaviors that actually keep us from experiencing the harmony and sense of completion that are part of our connection to the Divine Order. What if we learned to live by being rather than trying? “Without going out the door, know the world. Without looking out the window, you may see the ways of heaven,” says the Tao. For example, consider how the beating of your heart, the inhaling and exhaling of your breath, and a myriad of other life functions take place without effort from you, even as you are reading these words. You are a single beat in the one heart that is humanity. The Divine is at work within you, moving you toward your life purpose. Let yourself be guided and see what happens when you simply “let it be.”

Rule 1

How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

Rule 2

The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God.

Rule 3

You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

Rule 4

Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

Rule 5

Most of problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence

Rule 6

Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you

Rule 7

Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied.

Rule 8

Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.

Rule 9

East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.

Rule 10

The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.

When I lived in New York, I had a cat named Schlum. Every October and November I noticed that his coat would get thicker in preparation for the coming winter months—even though the current temperatures might be mild or even warm, Schlum’s fur would be in the process of changing. I remember thinking about this fact and being in awe of the great Source of All Creation. There must be millions of cats, dogs, beavers, rabbits, rats, horses, and other fur-bearing animals living in the Northern Hemisphere who go through the same process every year—and our Source never forgets a single one of them.

One August when I visited a dingo farm in Brisbane, Australia, I was told that the wild dogs were shedding their coats for the upcoming Spring. Spring after August? I thought, before remembering that the seasons follow opposite patterns in the Southern Hemisphere. Wondering if this would be confusing to God, I asked the zoo curator what would happen if a dingo was shipped on an airplane to New York in August—would its coat go from thinning to thickening, since winter would now be following summer?

“Happens all the time,” the curator said. “We fly them up there, and when they arrive, their coats start to thicken up.” Amazing, isn’t it? Now, if God remembers to adjust the coat on a dingo flying on a 747 from Australia to New York, surely He doesn’t forget us!

All of our life experiences—the struggles, the falls, the victories, the lessons, the emerging talents, all of it—is orchestrated by our Source. Be mindful of this fact: Whatever we decided upon with our Creator in advance of our manifestation into form is playing out right now. We must strive to always consciously remember that God hasn’t forgotten us—even though our egos may have edged God out—because He can’t forget us. Our infinite self is only here for a few moments in eternity. But even though we’re on loan for this temporary human experience, we’re never ever forgotten by God, the Source that provides us and everything else that lives and breathes with the energy, to sustain life. So we need to continually trust that the organizing intelligence of our Source, which is always operating in the Universe, is ever-mindful, and provides us with every blessing in abundance.

One of my favorite poets, Robert Frost, is the author of one of the world’s best-loved and most famous poems, “The Road Not Taken.” This poem about choosing an independent course applies in all areas of our lives. To me, Frost says be wary of following the pack, and don’t do anything simply because everyone else is doing it. Also, do what you do in the manner that you perceive it, regardless of how everyone is doing it, or has done it. The importance of choosing your own path is reflected in the poem’s conclusion—that taking the road “less traveled by” makes all the difference. Virtually all the people we revere took the road less traveled by, and that is why they were able to make a difference.

Frost himself was expected to be a farmer, lawyer, and then a teacher. He tried farming and left it. He entered law school to be the lawyer his grandfather wanted him to be, but departed almost immediately without notice. He left Harvard because of an illness, perhaps brought on by trying the road most traveled. But poetry was in his heart, and when he went down a road that few traveled with him, it made all the difference, and today we have his poetry because of that choice.

Frost’s poem invites you to forget peer pressure and instead know that if you truly want to make a difference in your life, you cannot do so by doing things the way everyone else does or because everyone else is. If you choose to lead your life just like everyone else, then what exactly is it that you have to offer? The road most traveled by is one that will allow you to fit in and feel accepted, but it will never allow you to make a difference.

In my own professional work I have been willing to speak and write about topics and ideas that were criticized by those on the more frequented road. In the beginning, the road I took was filled with potholes and gravel. Yet my work has always come from that place I trust most—my own heart—and so I persisted. As the years passed the road became paved and well-lit. Now many who once thought this was a preposterous path are walking with me. I have heard them say, “I used to think those ideas were insane, but now I really like what you were saying then.” I am happy to have experienced what Robert Frost was writing about.

Listen to your own heart concerning the path you wish to travel. Even if your entire life training has been in one direction, if it is not what you feel now, then begin the adventure of exploring a less-traveled road.

If you could have any job in the world what would it be? Here’s how I have handled the getting of jobs and how I have advised others to go about it. First, get a really sharp, clear vision of what you would like to see yourself doing. Then go to a quiet place in meditation and make conscious contact with God. The beauty of meditation is that you begin to get answers. Instead of asking for something for yourself, put all of your energy and attention into visualizing yourself in a capacity of serving, offering, or creating. It’s then that doors begin to open for you.

Lao-tzu says that doors don’t open while we have attachment to physical things for ourselves. What he calls the angelic guides or Source energy doesn’t enter our lives until we take the focus off “what’s in it for me?” or “what kind of job am I going to get?” or “how much money am I going to make?” and instead focus on “how may I serve?” Get that inner picture of yourself serving in the capacity of your choice and then be at peace with it. Take the focus off scarcity and lack and visualize service. That’s how Spirit works—when we’re letting go, when we’re not trying, not chasing. “Let yourself be lived by it,” says Lao-tzu. Go within and trust Divine timing. That’s how it’s always worked for me and I’ve always had more work than I could handle.